I Was (Almost) a Teenage Mormon

I Was (Almost) a Teenage Mormon:

Mitt Romney and Jon Huntsman have brought Mormons into the
spotlight, and other Americans may be a bit intimidated at what
they see. Judging from these guys and their families, you might
conclude that all Mormons are wealthy, upstanding, accomplished,
worldly and very nice-looking.

In fact, they're enough to make you wonder why we put up with
non-Mormon politicians—who often bring with them boorish behavior,
sexual improprieties, financial misdeeds, heavy drinking, foul
language and messy families. Not to mention that they are rarely as
photogenic as the Huntsmans and the Romneys.

To many Americans, this campaign has been an introduction to a
faith that most of them know little about. To me, it's been a trip
down memory lane. You see, in my younger days, I almost became a
Mormon.

When I was just out of high school, I was smitten with a girl.
She was smart, engaging and, yes, easy on the eyes, and she was a
member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS). I
knew nothing about it, but I was willing to learn.

Shortly before going off to college, I spent a weekend with her
handsome, high-achieving family at their house in Lubbock, Texas.
It was a revelation. I learned that Mormons abstain from alcohol,
tobacco, and coffee, donate 10 percent of their earnings to the
church, fast one day a month, place a high priority on family, and
center their lives on their religious community.

I also found that they are extremely welcoming to outsiders.
This is partly because Mormons put great importance on being nice.
It's also because they are keen on making converts.

Very keen. Within days of arriving on my new college campus, on
the other side of the country, I got a visit from some LDS
missionaries—two earnest young men who persuaded me to begin weekly
private classes to learn about their creed.

They gave me a copy of The Book of Mormon
and I read some of it. I went to Sunday school and church each
week, and I hung out with college classmates who were LDS.

After a few weeks, my missionaries decided it was time to
schedule my baptism. Taken aback, I told them I wasn't quite ready.
And after much agonizing, I decided I was never going to be
ready—even though it meant a certain fetching female was going to
be permanently off-limits.

Why did I walk away? Some of the stories in
The Book of Mormon were too hard to believe.
I found the church's orthodoxy intellectually stifling. I felt I
didn't know enough about my own Presbyterian faith to abandon it. I
lacked the certitude for such a big step.

Mormons regard themselves as Christians, and I don't disagree.
But theirs is a drastically different type of Christianity.
Becoming a Mormon is not like becoming a Methodist.

If I had joined, my life might have been very different. Or
maybe not. The church is proud of being one of the fastest-growing
religions in the world, a credit to its tireless missionary
efforts. Only later did I find out that a lot of people who convert
eventually fall away.

Once I made my choice, I noticed that all my new Mormon friends
were suddenly scarce. But I was glad for the experience. It gave me
a view of another way of life that most people don't get. It left
me feeling I had a rudimentary understanding of Latter-day
Saints.

I also got one joke out of it. It seems the pope is meeting with
his cardinals in the Vatican when he's called out to take a phone
call. He returns to announce, "I have good news and bad news. The
good news is that our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has come again
to establish his kingdom on earth." The bad news? "He was calling
from Salt Lake City."

And that girl? We parted on amicable but sorrowful terms, and I
haven't seen her since. Twenty years later, she had a layover at
O'Hare and phoned to say hello. We spent a pleasant 15 minutes
catching up and promising to get together with our spouses and kids
sometime.

A couple of days later, my doorbell rang. Two earnest young
missionaries were standing on my doorstep.

That's one thing you should know about Mormons. They're
persistent.

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